When the Father has made me face fears in the past, my fears have usually been shadows that seemed daunting and intimidating. I found out that there was nothing there and I was scared of an idea.
This is not one of those times. The fear of what I am writing of is something that is legitimately horrible and dangerous to the soul and mind of the person experiencing this.
The feeling of rejection is the number one feeling the Father in Heaven feels throughout the Tanakh. Israel consistently turns their back on YHVH and rejects him, His Torah, His Prophets, His Kings, and His covenants. If we ever dare to ask what the Father feels consistently from this wicked world, it is rejection.
1 Samuel 8:7 “Adonai said to Sh’mu’el, “Listen to the people, to everything they say to you; for it is not you they are rejecting; they are rejecting me; they don’t want me to be king over them.”
Rejection is part of our walk. We as modern believers have been comfortable for too long and that comfort has made us lazy and arrogant. We get shocked and shaken and offended by the slightest comment from a brother that does not continually prop our egos up.
John 15:18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.”
The fear of rejection will make us behave in unnatural ways because we worry about people rejecting us so we play a part and hide our identity so that we may be accepted in a group we either shouldn’t be in, or one that exemplifies qualities in ourselves that we wish to be genuinely part of our person.
“Too many Christians have a commitment of convenience. They'll stay faithful as long as it's safe and doesn't involve risk, rejection, or criticism. Instead of standing alone in the face of challenge or temptation, they check to see which way their friends are going.” -- Charles Stanley
We become people pleasers at the cost of our own personal identities. We become lost. Led astray by ourselves.
The problem is that fear of rejection will ultimately lead to rejection because the people we are lying to the people we are seeking acceptance from. They are not accepting us, they are accepting the version of ourselves that I am portraying.
When we seek to hide our true selves, after a while, we lose our true selves. We begin to hate that person because that person would not, in our own minds, be accepted by the group or person we are seeking acceptance from.
“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don't base your self-esteem on their opinions.” -- Harvey Mackay
When I was in 4th grade, I changed schools from a small rural South Carolina primary school, to a larger more cosmopolitan school in a suburb of Charleston, SC. When I entered into the classroom on the first day, everyone was new and no one looked or talked like where I had gone to school for 4 years prior. I say back and watched and listened. I soon learned what these kids were into and what they did in their off time. My fear of rejection told me to fit in at all costs and soon, I began inventing stories and inventing a personality that would fit in perfectly with this group of kids. Everything they would say they had done, I had done. If they talked about their 4-wheeler they were on the night before, I was on one too only bigger and I was better at it than them. I invented families I knew and talked about adventures I had been on that were completely fabricated by an eight-year old mind afraid of rejection.
I was scared to be myself.
Attempting to control the rejection leads to anti-social behavior. The culture of SHOCK has taken over our society and as this new generation seeks to do everything counter to the generation prior, it is actually attempting to control the rejection it anticipates and make it so that it happens on their terms and under their control. This is what drives the GOTH lifestyle. Having been one, I can tell you that the same fear of rejection that controlled my tongue as a child, controlled my appearance and my attitude toward people. The black trenchcoat, the Doc Martin boots, and the black clothing underneath was an attempt to hide in plain sight.
We have learned to do this because when we first come to the Torah and the Hebrew mindset, we believe that we will go back into the churches, our families, our marriages, and our friendships and begin to point out what we have been shown and what we now know to be error. When we do this, we are messing with people’s view of reality and their relationship with the Father. They are comfortable with it and therefore they reject our word and often times, our relationship with them. We are deeply hurt by this and we begin to spurn all believers who do not believe as we do, and we turn our teeth toward a system of belief and thought in an unholy manner because we were rejected. We in turn reject those who rejected us. While we believe ourselves to be righteous, we listen to the word and not the spirit. While we read about YHVH rejecting the people because they rejected him, we ignore the fact that the Father weeps and mourns over all the souls being lost every day. Every child who refuses a relationship with him and he watches them live in darkness. A prophet does not merely speak the words YHVH hands Him, he speaks them in the emotion and the heartfelt place the Father speaks from. A prophet understands the Father’s heart and he speaks to the people’s hearts. You seek the Father’s heart and you understand what it in the hearts of the people.
Sometimes the hardest thing in the Word for us to accept is that the Father loves us and accepts us as children. We believe that a man dwelled in the belly of a fish for three days, but we have trouble believing the Father loves us and accepts us just as we are when He calls us.
Satan will tell you that you will never be accepted and that you are unworthy of love. The problem with the idea of being unworthy is that it is true. We are unworthy of YHVH’s love. However the Father chooses freely to pour down his love from Heaven and welcomes with warm embraces and with pure acceptance. He knows our sins but welcomes us home.
“Satan is a slave of his own nature.” – Derek Prince
Satan has been rejected and therefore works his hardest to make us like him and to make us believe we will only ever share his fate.
In ministry, you will have to face rejection. Every leader of Israel was rejected, scorned, and at times killed by YHVH’s supposed people.
A man who seeks the acceptance of the people instead of the acceptance of the Father, he will soon find himself alone no longer having an idea of who he is and who called him.
Isaiah 41:9 “I have taken you from the ends of the earth, summoned you from its most distant parts and said to you, ‘You are my servant’ — I have chosen you, not rejected you.”
Ezekiel 16 speaks of how YHVH found Israel as an infant struggling for life and how he saw him laying on the side of the road helpless. The Father reached down and nurtured the child and how he clothed the child and fed him the finest food. Then the child grew arrogant, and began chasing other gods. Israel rejected the Father. The heart of the Father must have just broken and tears must have flowed down His face. How he must have wept bitter tears that only rejection can bring out.
But the Father loved us all the more. He brought us back from the land of whoring and in time showed his love to us even more by sending his son to die for us. AND WE DARE ASK whether he has accepted us?! May we all have the love for one another that the Father has shown us. May we forgive ourselves and each other as he has forgiven us. True love is loving despite the rejection to love the people around you who have spurned you or rejected you is the hardest emotional trial there is. However, it is the trial of the Messiah himself.
You will always keep the Father at an arm’s distance if you fear his rejection. You will never truly know intimacy with Him without looking at him as someone who loves you with a more pure love than any creature on this planet.
John 6:37 Everyone the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will certainly not turn away.
Psalm 34:17-20 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong, be bold, don’t be afraid or frightened of them, for Adonai your God is going with you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Cole Davis and Other Contributors